April 5 – The Ties That Bind: How Service Strengthens Relationships

“The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, or brooding is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one’s sympathy the gloom of someone else.” Arnold Bennett

Strong, supportive relationships are the bedrock of any society. Service acts as the mortar that binds us together. By helping others, we demonstrate care, compassion, and trust. These qualities foster a sense of community and belonging, creating a network of individuals who look out for one another. When faced with challenges, communities that embrace service are better equipped to weather the storm.

Think about your closest relationships. What are the qualities that hold them together? It's likely a combination of shared experiences, mutual respect, and a willingness to be there for each other through thick and thin. Service is the glue that strengthens these bonds. Brené Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, beautifully captures the essence of this connection, stating, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change." By offering acts of service, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, showing our loved ones that we care enough to put their needs before our own. This fosters a deeper sense of connection and trust.

Acts of service in relationships can take many forms. It could be something as simple as running errands for an elderly neighbor, offering childcare to a busy parent, or simply lending a listening ear to a friend going through a tough time. These seemingly small gestures communicate volumes. They say, "I see you. I care about you. I want to help." As Maya Angelou eloquently states in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, "People forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Acts of service have a lasting impact, leaving a warm impression on the recipient and strengthening the bond between you.

“I see each day as another opportunity to get off my butt and make a difference in someone’s life.” Holly Robinson Peete

Service not only benefits the recipient, but also the giver. Helping others fosters a sense of purpose and belonging. It allows us to connect with something larger than ourselves and experience the joy of making a positive difference. This, in turn, spills over into our relationships, making us feel more connected and fulfilled. As Harold Kushner reminds us in When Bad Things Happen to Good People, "The world is full of suffering. It is also full of ordinary people who do extraordinary things to help." By embracing service, we become extraordinary people within our ordinary relationships, enriching the lives of those around us.

Service also creates a ripple effect within our communities. When we see others helping one another, it inspires us to do the same. This creates a positive cycle of service and compassion, strengthening the social fabric of our neighborhoods and towns. By serving those close to us, we contribute to a larger movement of care and support that benefits everyone.

In conclusion, service is the cornerstone of strong, supportive relationships. By offering acts of kindness, we build trust, strengthen connections, and foster a sense of belonging. The benefits extend beyond the individual, creating a more compassionate and resilient community. So, embrace service in all its forms, from the small acts of kindness within your family to the larger efforts that contribute to the well-being of your community. Remember, as Mother Teresa so aptly stated, "We can do no great things; only small things with great love."

Activities:

Practice active listening with your loved ones. Put away distractions and give them your full attention when they need to talk.

Identify a chore or task that burdens someone in your close circle and offer to take it over for them. This could be anything from cooking dinner to running errands to helping with yard work.

Plan a thoughtful activity with a friend or family member. This could be something simple like going for a walk or watching a movie together, or something more elaborate like planning a day trip or attending a local event.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.