March 28 - Building Your Harbor: The Power of Community

“We must learn to live together as sisters and brothers, or we will perish together as fools.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Humans are wired for connection. We crave the warmth of belonging, the spark of shared experiences, and the strength that comes from knowing we're not alone. Yet, in our fast-paced world, it's easy to feel isolated. 

Celeste Headlee captures this sentiment perfectly in her book Do Nothing, "We have sacrificed quite a bit at the altar of hard work and long hours...our communities, our hobbies, and our peace of mind."

The good news is you have the power to build your own harbor – a thriving community that nourishes your soul and bolsters your well-being.  Today, we will explore why community matters, how to contribute meaningfully, and even how to take the lead in fostering a sense of connection around you.

In her book, The Stress Prescription, Elissa Epel reminds us, "Focus on people who enrich your life...Maybe you can try to see or talk to them more frequently." Strong social connections are the foundation of happiness and health. Studies show that people with strong social ties live longer, healthier lives.  Community provides a safety net, a source of encouragement and support during tough times. It's a place to celebrate victories, no matter how small, because as Epel suggests, a community thrives on "collective achievement."

 Beyond the personal benefits, communities are the engines of social change. They allow us to pool resources, share ideas, and amplify our voices for a greater good. Bill Burnett and Dave Evans emphasize the power of collaboration in their book, Designing Your Life.

"The last mind-set of design thinking is perhaps the most important...radical collaboration. It takes a team. Design is a collaborative process, and many of the best ideas are going to come from other people. You just need to ask. And know the right questions to ask."

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.” Walt Whitman

The beauty of community lies in its diversity. Every single person brings a unique set of skills, experiences, and perspectives.  The question isn't whether you have something to offer, but how you can best contribute.

Here are some ways to get involved:

Be an Active Listener: Lend a supportive ear to your neighbors, friends, or colleagues. Truly listen to understand, not just to respond.

Offer Help and Encouragement: A simple act of kindness, a word of support, or a helping hand can make a world of difference.

Share Your Skills and Knowledge: Volunteer your time with a cause you care about, mentor someone younger, or simply offer friendly advice.

Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate the achievements of others, big or small. This reinforces a sense of shared accomplishment and strengthens the bonds within the community.

Remember, contribution doesn't have to be grand gestures. As Becca Piastrelli suggests in Root and Ritual, "safe bonds" are built through "honest[y]" and "shared presence.”

Perhaps you feel your current social circle is lacking, or maybe you yearn to create a space focused on a specific passion. The good news is anyone can be a community architect! Here are some steps to get you started:

Identify Your Interests: What are you passionate about? What kind of community would enrich your life?

Start Small: Gather a few like-minded individuals for a coffee meetup, book club, or activity related to your shared interest.

Embrace Inclusivity: Create a welcoming space that celebrates diversity and fosters open communication.

Nurture the Flame: Organize regular gatherings, encourage participation, and be open to new ideas and suggestions.

Remember, communities are living things. They evolve and grow over time.  The key is to show up, be present, and contribute your unique spark.

As Dacher Keltner reminds us in his book, Awe, strong communities provide opportunities for "collective awe," those moments of wonder that "transform your life.” By working together, we can build communities that not only enrich our own lives, but also create a ripple effect of positive change in the world around us. So, set sail, find your harbor, and start building the community of your dreams.

Activity: When you are offered help, practice saying yes. It will help build your support system, as well as being a positive experience for the person helping you. You will strengthen interpersonal bonds, which is good for everyone. Accepting support, love, or attention from others is a skill we have to build up, even if we feel we do not deserve it or because we are not as needy as others. Don’t view yourself as an imposition. Humans need connection, when you resist or turn away from the supportive people in your life, you are not allowing them to connect.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.