April 3 – The Stages of Service: A Lifelong Journey

“One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we can do for others.” Lewis Carroll

The journey of service can begin with small acts of kindness. Holding the door open for someone, offering a listening ear, or volunteering at a local soup kitchen are all ways to step outside of ourselves and connect with the needs of others. As Robert Lawrence Smith reminds us, "It really doesn't matter where or how we start. It is only important to begin." These initial steps plant the seeds of empathy and compassion, fostering a sense of connection that fuels a lifelong commitment to service.

The Seed: Serving Ourselves

The foundation of service lies in self-care. Before we can effectively help others, we must first tend to our own needs. This includes physical health, mental well-being, and emotional intelligence. By prioritizing healthy habits, developing self-awareness, and nurturing our own growth, we become more resilient and better equipped to serve others. As Rick Hanson explains in Resilient, "Suffering can either embitter us or enable us. The difference lies in whether we are able to find meaning in our suffering." By understanding and processing our own struggles, we develop a deeper empathy for the challenges faced by others.

The Sprout: Nurturing Close Relationships

The next stage of service blossoms in our closest relationships. Here, service manifests itself in acts of love, support, and understanding. Being a good listener, offering a helping hand during difficult times, and celebrating the successes of loved ones are all expressions of service. As we nurture these connections, we create a safe space for vulnerability and a foundation of trust. These qualities are essential for fostering healthy communities and inspiring a broader sense of service in the world.

The Bloom: Contributing to Our Communities

With a strong foundation of self-care and nurtured relationships, we can step outward and contribute to our communities. Service at this level involves identifying needs within our local environment and finding ways to address them. This could involve volunteering at a local school, participating in neighborhood clean-up projects, or advocating for social justice issues. As Arthur C. Brooks suggests in From Strength to Strength, "Devote the back half of your life to serving others with your wisdom." Whether young or old, we all have unique skills and experiences to offer our communities.

The Reaching Vine: Expanding Our Reach

The final stage of service involves expanding our reach beyond our immediate communities and addressing global challenges. This may involve supporting international humanitarian organizations, advocating for environmental protection, or promoting peace initiatives. Robert Lawrence Smith highlights the importance of introducing young people to service, stating, "Volunteer work in a good cause can become a lifetime commitment. And since career choices are most often made in youth, it's of critical importance that young people have a direct experience of service and all its enriching possibilities.” By nurturing a sense of global citizenship and responsibility, we contribute to a more just and equitable world.

The Journey Continues: Maintaining Motivation

Throughout the stages of service, staying motivated is key. David Chernikoff, in Life Part Two, emphasizes the importance of intention, stating, "A key issue that often arises in helping others involves motivation. Buddhist psychology teaches that every voluntary action is preceded by an intention." Examining our motivations and ensuring they are rooted in compassion rather than ego gratification is crucial for sustaining a lifelong commitment to service.

“It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.” Khalil Gibran

The path of service is a lifelong journey with no finish line. Each stage offers unique opportunities for growth and connection. Remember, as Desmond Tutu reminds us in The Book of Joy, "Ultimately our greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others. It's how we are made. We're wired to be compassionate." By embracing service in all its forms, from the personal to the global, we create a ripple effect of positive change that extends far beyond ourselves.

Activity: Choose a small, manageable service activity and commit to doing it regularly. This could be volunteering for a few hours a month, donating blood every quarter, or simply offering to help a neighbor with errands.

Track your service activities in a journal or calendar. Reflect on how these acts make you feel and the impact they have on others.

Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and try a new service activity.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.