June 17 – Living with Purpose: Embracing Decisiveness in Every Decision

“Nothing had just happened to her, she had made a choice, and then she had made another and another after that. Taken together, the small choices anyone made added up to a life.” J. Courtney Sullivan

As we conclude our exploration of decisiveness, it’s clear that decision-making permeates every facet of our lives, from the individual to the global stage. Whether we’re making choices about our personal paths, relationships, community involvement, or global issues, decisiveness is a crucial skill that shapes our experiences and the world around us.

At the core of decision-making is the desire for more than just day-to-day contentment. As Russ Roberts articulates in Wild Problems, "Most of us want more than just day-to-day moments of contentment or pleasure. We want to behave ethically. We care about connections to our friends and family. We have a sense of how we should behave with those close to us." This deeper drive for purpose, meaning, and ethical behavior is what defines our most important decisions.

Decisiveness involves recognizing that some aspects of life are inherently uncertain and beyond our control. Roberts emphasizes the importance of adjusting our plans based on new information, highlighting that "Recognizing that you are not in control doesn't mean there's no control at all or zero planning." This adaptability is crucial, as it allows us to navigate life's unpredictable twists and turns.

Decisions at the personal and relational levels often involve a balance between our own needs and those of others. From choosing a career path to deciding whether to marry or start a family, these decisions are deeply intertwined with our sense of identity and purpose. As Roberts notes, "Living like an artist is not a bad way to think about how to face a wild problem," encouraging us to be open to discovery and self-exploration.

In relationships, decisiveness is about fostering connections that are meaningful and fulfilling. This may involve enduring some pain and challenges to maintain purpose and meaning, as Roberts suggests: "It is easy to ignore the parts of life that are not easily imagined... but that give your life purpose and meaning."

“To know what you are going to draw, you have to begin drawing.” Pablo Picasso

At the community level, decisiveness is essential for creating a cohesive and supportive environment. Whether it's participating in local governance, contributing to team dynamics, or engaging in community initiatives, our decisions impact those around us. In the global context, decisiveness is even more complex, involving the cooperation of diverse nations and cultures to address shared challenges like climate change, resource management, and human rights.

Roberts' insights on living and adapting resonate here: "Where we choose to live is about more than which place has better weather... It’s about who we are and not just what we experience." This emphasizes that our decisions about where to live and how to engage with the world reflect our values and identity.

Throughout our journey, we've explored various strategies to improve decision-making. Rick Rubin, in The Creative Act: A Way of Being, suggests embracing our instincts and simplifying choices: "We limit our options for each test to two choices whenever possible. We place them next to each other, step back, and directly compare." This method helps clarify our preferences and reduce decision fatigue.

Moreover, Rubin advocates for putting decision-making into the work itself and focusing on spontaneous, instinctual reactions: "The goal is to turn off the conscious mind and follow our impulses." This approach allows for a more authentic and less overanalyzed decision-making process.

Decisiveness also involves determination and agency, especially in challenging circumstances. Rick Hanson in Resilient highlights the importance of finding a sense of agency: "When your options are limited, look for the little things you can do and focus on the feeling of agency regarding them." This sense of control, however small, can significantly impact our resilience and well-being.

Finally, decisiveness is a key component of real self-care, as Pooja Lakshmin emphasizes in Real Self-Care: "At its core, real self-care is ultimately about decision making. In order to make decisions that foster well-being, you must be assertive in prioritizing your own needs and desires." Setting boundaries and saying no when necessary are essential skills for making decisions that prioritize our mental and emotional health.

At its core, decisiveness is not just about making choices but about navigating the complexities of life with purpose, adaptability, and integrity. Whether we're making decisions about our personal lives, our relationships, our communities, or the world, the ability to choose wisely and act decisively is a fundamental human value. By embracing decisiveness, we not only shape our own destinies but also contribute to a better, more connected world. As we continue to face life's wild problems, let us remember that decisiveness is a craft to be cultivated, a balance of intuition, adaptability, and purpose.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu

Activity –

Mindful Decision Walks: Take mindful decision walks in nature, focusing on each step and breath as you contemplate pending decisions or dilemmas. Nature's calming influence can enhance clarity and intuition in decision-making processes.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.