June 6 – Riding the Bike of Life: Embracing the Wobbles of Balance

“One time, I was at a Q+A with Nora Roberts, and someone asked her how to balance writing and kids, and she said that the key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass.” Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Finding balance isn't a one-time achievement; it's a lifelong process of learning and adaptation. It's like learning to ride a bike – you wobble a bit at first, maybe even fall a few times, but with each attempt, you develop a better sense of control and coordination.

Life throws events our way – successes that inflate our egos, failures that leave us feeling deflated, and challenges that test our resilience. These experiences, both positive and negative, are all crucial stepping stones on the path to balance.

“I think it’s just as important what you say no to as what you say yes to.” Sandra Oh

A relatable story from the movie Baby Boom that highlights juggling responsibilities and finding balance is the experience of J.C. Wiatt.

In Baby Boom, J.C. Wiatt, played by Diane Keaton, is a driven and successful businesswoman in New York City, known as "The Tiger Lady" for her fierce dedication to her career. Her life takes an unexpected turn when she inherits a baby girl named Elizabeth from a distant relative. Unprepared for the responsibilities of motherhood, J.C. suddenly finds herself balancing her demanding job with the challenges of caring for a child.

Initially, J.C. struggles to maintain her high-powered career while adjusting to the new role of a single mother. She faces sleepless nights, constant feedings, and the relentless needs of an infant, all while trying to meet the expectations of her demanding job. Her colleagues and boss, who are unsympathetic to her new circumstances, begin to see her as less reliable and dedicated. This tension reaches a climax when J.C. is forced to bring Elizabeth to a crucial business meeting, resulting in a chaotic and unprofessional scene that jeopardizes her career.

As the pressures from both her professional and personal life begin to mount, J.C. realizes that she cannot continue to handle everything on her own without it taking a toll on her well-being and career aspirations. She decides to make a drastic change, moving to a farmhouse in Vermont to start a new life that can accommodate both her career and her role as a mother.

In Vermont, J.C. embarks on a journey of self-discovery and reinvention. She starts a homemade baby food business, leveraging her business acumen and creativity. Through trial and error, she learns to balance the demands of running a business with the needs of her daughter. The slower pace of life and the supportive community in Vermont allow J.C. to find a new rhythm that suits her better.

The turning point for J.C. comes when her baby food business becomes a success, attracting the attention of major corporations. She is offered a lucrative deal to sell her company and return to her former corporate lifestyle. However, J.C. realizes that true success for her means having control over her time and priorities. She decides to turn down the offer, choosing instead to maintain the balance she has found between her professional ambitions and her responsibilities as a mother.

Through these changes, J.C. learns to navigate the complexities of her dual roles by setting boundaries, prioritizing what truly matters, and embracing the support of her community. Her experience teaches her valuable lessons about resilience, the importance of work-life balance, and the joy of pursuing a life that aligns with her values and aspirations.

Baby Boom highlights the challenges of juggling multiple responsibilities and the necessity of finding balance. J.C.'s journey underscores the importance of flexibility, self-care, and redefining success on one's own terms to achieve fulfillment in both personal and professional life.

Failures, as painful as they might be, can be powerful teachers. They show us where our boundaries lie, what aspects of life need more attention. Successes, on the other hand, can be a double-edged sword. They can fuel our motivation, but they can also lead to arrogance and a sense of complacency. Finding balance involves acknowledging both sides of the coin.

“In a true partnership, the kind worth striving for, the kind worth insisting on, and even frankly, worth divorcing over, both people try to give as much or even a little more than they get. ‘Deserves’ is not the point. And ‘owes’ is certainly not the point. The point is to make the other person as happy as we can, because their happiness adds to ours. The point is – in the right hands, everything that you give, you get.” Amy Bloom

Julie Smith perfectly captures this sentiment in Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? when she says, "When we are working on long-term goals and making changes that we want to maintain, we have to learn to counter-balance the stress of the effort with the replenishment of rest."

Balance isn't about achieving some utopian state of perfection; it's about learning to navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life. It's about acknowledging the darkness but choosing to focus on the light, as Morrie Schwartz reminds us in The Wisdom of Morrie: "To lead a joyous, fulfilling life, we must develop a balance that favors hope over despair, and find ways of easing or reducing despair so that hope predominates."

“She is a friend of mine…The pieces I am, she gather them up and give them back to me in all the right order." Toni Morrison

As we move through the next few days, we'll explore specific strategies for achieving balance in different areas of our lives – from relationships and careers to health and finances. But remember, the most important takeaway is this: balance is a journey, not a destination. It's a continuous dance between effort and rest, ambition and humility, and the pursuit of hope in the face of inevitable challenges.

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

So, the next time you feel like you're teetering on the edge, remember the wobbly first attempts at riding a bike. With each step, with each conscious decision, you're getting closer to finding your own unique sense of balance.

Activity: Time-blocking exercise: Spend a day or week tracking how you allocate your time across different tasks and responsibilities. Use this data to identify areas where you may be overcommitting and explore ways to redistribute your time more effectively.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.