March 20 – Show Yourself Some Love and Kindness

“Quit beating yourself up for having a skill deficit when what you really have is a support deficit.” KC Davis

We all know the feeling: that inner critic nagging at us for every mistake, the pressure to constantly be "on" and productive. But here's the thing – being kind to yourself isn't a self-indulgent concept. It's the key to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

As Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst say in The Big Book of Less, we wouldn't dream of treating a good friend the way we sometimes treat ourselves. We'd offer understanding, not judgment. We'd acknowledge their struggles, not belittle them. So why don’t we extend that same compassion to ourselves?

Here's the good news: self-kindness doesn't require grand gestures. It's about the everyday choices that make a big difference.

“A simple plan to keep a space livable is better than an overwhelming plan to keep a space perfect.” KC Davis

Catch yourself in the act of negativity. As Smit and van der Hulst suggest, spend a day noticing those harsh inner critic moments. You might be surprised by how often you put yourself down for things you wouldn't blink at if a friend did them.

Reframe the negative into a positive. Brené Brown, in The Gifts of Imperfection, suggests writing down those negative thoughts and then turning them into empowering affirmations. For example, "I messed up that presentation" becomes "I'm learning and growing from this experience, and I'll do better next time."

Give yourself permission to rest. We all know the pressure to constantly be productive. But as KC Davis reminds us in How to Keep House While Drowning, rest is essential. It's not a reward, it's a necessity. So take a bath, read a book, or just sit outside – whatever helps you recharge.

“I want to make myself so happy that others get happy just looking at me.” Yogi Bhajan

Focus on progress, not perfection. Social media can paint an unrealistic picture of flawlessness. But remember, as Smit and van der Hulst point out, comparison is a recipe for misery. Instead, focus on your own journey, celebrating your progress and learning from setbacks.

Being kind to yourself isn't selfish, it's self-care. It's the foundation for a more positive and resilient you.  So, the next time that inner critic starts up, remember – you deserve kindness, understanding, and a whole lot of self-love. After all, as Rick Hanson says in Resilient, treating yourself with kindness is what allows you to bounce back from challenges and reach your full potential.

Let's show ourselves the love we deserve!

Spend Time in Nature: Go for a hike, have a picnic in the park, or simply sit outside and observe your surroundings. Take a break from social media. Give yourself some digital downtime. Notice how it affects your mood and self-esteem.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.