March 5 – Imperfectly Human: Ditch the Pressure, Find Your Power

“It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring.” Tina Fey

“Many of us have been shamed for our social status, our body size, our age, our income level, how we talk, and where we’ve come from. These are all common themes. If you’re living on planet Earth, there is a 100% chance that you’ll be shamed about something by someone. In many ways, the social pressure to be perfect has never been greater.” I found this quote in a book called Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup. I think this paragraph sums up today’s theme of embracing flaws and imperfections. Everyone has to deal with these things, and we need tools to know how.

In The Body Liberation Project, Chrissy King continues with similar ideas, “I think it’s helpful for all humanity to see all different types of bodies represented on mainstream platforms. But we cannot pretend that the repercussions of having a tiny bit of cellulite are the same as experiencing serious weight stigma for living in a fat body.” I love some of the commercials I’ve been seeing with real people. I will fully and wholeheartedly support these companies because they are doing real good in the world and helping to combat the voices that are telling us there is something wrong with us if we are not perfect. They are all companies trying to sell us something, it’s up to them to choose how to do it. It’s up to us which companies we choose to reward with our purchases.

“Be your true self and experience genuine joy.” Carmen Carrera

King goes on to say, “The things we often characterize as flaws – cellulite, body hair, hip dips, belly rolls, stretch marks, aren’t imperfections or flaws at all. They are simple, natural occurrences for any of us having this human experience. It’s just a body being a body.” Some people don’t seem to totally get that I really did have weight loss surgery for my health. I have been asked, after I go through the diseases and health problems I have eliminated, if I am going to have skin surgery. I really don’t care about excess skin. It’s part of me and if it’s not causing a health problem, I’m going to leave it. Why would I go through another surgery for something cosmetic?

This striving for perfection is not limited to our bodies. In Do Nothing, Celeste Headlee says, “I think we have engineered ourselves further and further from what we do best and what makes us most human. In doing so, we’ve made our lives harder and infinitely sadder.” In trying to attain the impossible perfection that society expects, we are wasting our lives. Headlee has a solution to this problem. “We can and must stop treating ourselves like machines that can be driven and pumped and amped and hacked. Instead of limiting and constraining our essential natures, we can celebrate our humanness. We can better understand our own natures and abilities. We can lean into our inherent gifts.” We need to stop trying to change ourselves and embrace who and what we are.

“You know what? I like me, and that’s the most important thing.” Naomie Harris

Even the Dalai Lama has a view on this topic! “Stress and anxiety often come from too much expectation and too much ambition. Then when we don’t fulfill that expectation or achieve that ambition, we experience frustration. Right from the beginning, it is a self-centered attitude. I want this. I want that. Often, we are not being realistic about our own ability or about objective reality.” Knowing our limits fuels realistic action, and realistic action paves the way for success. Overreaching ambition, on the other hand, is a recipe for disappointment and stress. Therefore, much of our stress stems from a mismatch between our expectations and our capabilities.

The badge of honor is no longer reaching our dreams but surviving the grind. We celebrate burning the midnight oil and endless busyness, as if exhaustion is a measure of worth. But what if our worth was defined by the impact we make, not the hours we log? In Real Self-Care, Pooja Lakshmin explains, “Instead of allowing ourselves to be human beings, we are human doings – and the self becomes quantified and measured, merely a sum of tasks and accomplishments.”

“I just have to be myself. I’m not perfect and I’m going to make mistakes.” Laverne Cox

"Busy" doesn't equal "fulfilled." We get so caught up in checking boxes and hitting metrics that we forget to ask ourselves, "What's the point of it all?" Headlee explains, “It’s good to look for opportunities to improve yourself. But the problem is not in the tool, but in the overuse. Improvement is healthy, but not every moment of your day should be leveraged in an attempt to make you a better person. You are leaving no space for rest and contentment.” True satisfaction comes from achieving meaningful goals, not just conquering to-do lists.

We're lost in the forest of tasks, hacking away at the undergrowth instead of climbing the mountain to see the broader landscape. Let's stop chopping blindly and take a moment to find our bearings. The summit, not the number of fallen branches, will be the true measure of our journey.

John O’Leary sums it up well in his book, In Awe. “When we are honest about who we are, embrace it, and share it with others, that’s when true connection occurs. When hearts open. When walls come down.”

Activity:

Social Media Audit: Review your social media feed and unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or pressure you to conform to unrealistic expectations.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience, guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.