March 6 – Exploring the Importance and Impact of Self-Respect

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you." Lao Tzu

Self-respect is not a luxury; it's a necessity. It's the foundation upon which we build our lives, our relationships, and our sense of well-being. Without it, we are adrift in a sea of self-doubt and insecurity, vulnerable to the whims of others and the storms of life.

What is self-respect?

Self-respect is the deep-seated belief that we are worthy of love, happiness, and success. It's the unwavering conviction that we are valuable, capable human beings, regardless of our flaws or shortcomings. It's the quiet confidence that whispers, "I am enough." As David Lieberman says in How to Make Peace With Anyone, “We gain self-respect by doing what we know to be right.” When we choose to do what is right, it feeds our inner selves. It helps us feel good about who we are, and that builds up our self-respect. In return, it also boosts our self-esteem. That's how self-respect and self-control are connected. When we are doing good in the world, we feel good about ourselves.

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” Confucius

Why is self-respect so important?

Self-respect matters because it impacts every aspect of our lives.

It boosts our confidence and self-esteem: When we respect ourselves, we believe in our abilities and are more likely to take risks and pursue our dreams.

It improves our decision-making: Self-respect helps us make choices that align with our values and what we believe is right, even when it's difficult.

It strengthens our relationships: We attract and nurture healthy relationships when we treat ourselves with kindness and respect. Others are more likely to treat us with respect when we respect ourselves.

It enhances our mental and emotional well-being: Self-respect is a powerful antidote to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. When we feel good about ourselves, we are better equipped to handle life's ups and downs.

Self-respect empowers us to stand up for ourselves: Self-respect gives us the courage to set boundaries, say no, and walk away from situations that are unhealthy or harmful.

Lieberman explains that “freedom is at the crux of self-respect. You can’t feel good about yourself when you are constantly dependent on someone or something. Human beings need a sense of independence to feel good, and losing control robs us of our sense of independence." When you have to go to someone for help, from asking for money to asking for help with addiction, you might feel uneasy and anxious.

“You will never gain anyone's approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” Mandy Hale

Lieberman describes how people with low self-esteem might try to gain respect by doing things that make other people lose respect for them. “They brag about themselves and are arrogant. They are quick to judge, gossip, criticize, and embarrass others. But no one respects someone who puts people down and who’s constantly seeking the approval of those around him.” We should feel sorry for these people.

Here are some healthy and appropriate ways to build up self-respect:

Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself, just as you would be kind to a friend.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes and focus on your progress.

Set healthy boundaries. Learn to say no to things that don't serve you or that make you feel uncomfortable.

Challenge negative self-talk. Don't believe everything your inner critic tells you. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Take time to celebrate your successes, big and small.

Spend time with people who support you. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Remember, self-respect is not about being perfect. It's about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you would show anyone else.

Self-respect is not a selfish pursuit; it's a necessary foundation for a happy, fulfilling life. When we respect ourselves, we not only enrich our own lives but also make the world a better place for everyone around us.

Positive Peer Encouragement: Establish a system where participants exchange positive notes or compliments with each other regularly. Whether it is a small group of friends, family, coworkers or neighbors, this promotes a supportive environment and reinforces positive social connections.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience, guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.