April 16 – The Power of Autonomy: Taking Charge of Your Life

“I believe that if you just stand up and go, life will open up for you.” Tina Turner

Autonomy, the ability to act independently and make your own choices, is a fundamental human need. It sits at the core of who we are, shaping our experiences and propelling us forward on our life's journey. Unlike machines, no matter how complex, we possess the unique ability to be the authors of our own lives. We can set our own goals, navigate challenges, and make choices that reflect our values and aspirations.

Consider Norman Rosenthal's words in The Gift of Adversity: "How long you live is not the only thing that matters; it's also how you live, and how you die." Autonomy empowers us to define how we live. It allows us to decide what paths we take, what risks we are willing to embrace, and how we respond to adversity. As Rosenthal further highlights, even in difficult circumstances, "retain as much power over yourself as you can." Autonomy allows us to retain that power, to make choices and take actions that shape our experiences, even amidst challenges.

“There is only one success … to be able to spend your life in your own way.” Christopher Morley

While sophisticated computer programs can follow intricate instructions and even simulate decision-making, they lack the crucial element of self-awareness that underpins human autonomy. Machines don't possess the ability to choose freely based on their own internal world of values, experiences, and emotions. This is what separates us from machines. We are not pre-programmed beings simply reacting to stimuli. We have the capacity for introspection, for understanding ourselves and our desires, and for making choices that reflect that understanding.

T.D. Jakes, in Disruptive Thinking, reminds us that "the people who are written into the history books... are not the ones who fit in." Autonomy allows us to break free from the mold and pursue our own unique paths. It empowers us to embrace what makes us different, to overcome obstacles, and to create a life that is authentically our own. Michelle Obama, in The Light We Carry, acknowledges the challenges inherent in forging your own path: "There's nothing easy about finding your way through a world loaded with obstacles ... When you are different, you can feel as if you're operating with a different map." But even with these challenges, autonomy allows us to keep pushing forward, "one page a day," as Felicia Day suggests in Embrace Your Weird, to keep moving towards our goals and dreams.

“Everything can be taken from a man but … the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl

Autonomy is not simply about independence; it's also about the capacity for deep connections. As Rick Hanson points out in Resilient, "a strong sense of autonomy... fosters depth of intimacy." When we have a firm sense of self and the ability to make our own choices, we are better equipped to build genuine connections with others. We enter relationships as whole individuals, able to give and receive love authentically.

“Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Finally, autonomy is more than just a concept; it's the fuel that propels us forward on our life's journey. It empowers us to define our own paths, navigate challenges, and build meaningful connections. By embracing our autonomy, we take charge of our lives and unlock our full potential. Remember, as Rosenthal emphasizes, "No group of people is entirely good or evil; there are good and evil people in every group. It is the rare person who is a hero in the sense that he or she is willing to go up against a regime of terror. Finally, a single individual can emerge triumphant out of the rubble and live, love, speak, write, and influence millions of others.” Autonomy empowers you to be that individual, to chart your own course and make a positive impact on the world.

“Do exactly what your ‘Yeah, but’ says you shouldn’t. Write that novel. Adopt a puppy. Resist oppression. Keep the ‘yeah’ and kick the ‘but.’” Martha Beck

"Yes Day" Experiment:

Choose a day (or a limited timeframe) where you say "yes" to most requests or suggestions that come your way, big or small. This can help you explore new experiences and break out of your comfort zone, fostering a sense of autonomy in your daily life.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.