February 12 - Developing Greater Acceptance

"What we resist, persists." Carl Jung

“I am young. I am free. My teeth are clean. The sun shines. To hell with everything else.” Stephen Fry

“I don’t like defining myself. I just am.” Britney Spears

“Your way” is just one way. Be willing to accept that just because it works well for you, doesn’t mean it will work well for others. To believe that “your way” is the way is arrogant. Everyone is unique and responds to events and challenges differently. What you have experienced is different and will not be applicable to everyone else.

The initial step in reshaping any habit is acknowledging its presence. In what ways do you find yourself pushing away from your own experiences? Do you avoid certain people because you can’t accept their politics or certain places because you feel like an outsider? Much of our resistance is subconscious, leaving us puzzled about our actions. This resistance can become a habit.

After you've started identifying instances of resistance, delve deeper to examine the origins of these patterns. Reflect on your childhood reactions to sadness or anger and how adults around you responded. Were you encouraged to navigate these emotions or were you advised (likely with good intentions) to put on a brave face? Could these early experiences influence how you process emotions today? Jot down your thoughts to recognize recurring patterns and embrace the idea that your past encounters may have molded your current behaviors. Remember, the power to change any pattern lies within your awareness.

But how do we bring those ingrained patterns to light? Mindfulness is key. It involves recognizing and welcoming our experiences without judgment. Dedicate time to observe your experiences impartially. Everyday moments can become opportunities for mindfulness.

We often become our own harshest critics. Embracing self-acceptance can prove challenging because we have grown accustomed to judging ourselves based on our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Rarely would we scrutinize a loved one as severely as we do ourselves. An effective strategy is to envision your younger self. This exercise serves as a reminder of your innocent and vulnerable core, facilitating a kinder and more empathetic approach when facing challenging experiences.

Acceptance, like any skill, needs to be practiced. Those who exhibit self-acceptance toward themselves and others have made it part of their life, consistently opting for a mindset of acceptance. Over time, these repetitive mental choices become ingrained and second nature, demanding less exertion. When grappling with complex emotions, use the opportunity to hone acceptance through practice.

In the end, no matter how difficult or painful things may be, I believe it is always better to face the challenges of acceptance than to give up hope and dwell on negativity.

When we resist something, we are giving it our attention and energy. This makes it more likely that the thing we are resisting will continue to happen. For example, if we are afraid of public speaking, and we try to avoid it at all costs, we are giving our fear more power. The more we avoid public speaking, the more afraid of it we will become. On the other hand, if we accept our fear of public speaking, and we start to face it head-on, we will eventually overcome it. This is because when we resist something, we are essentially giving it power over us. When we accept something, we take away its power.

Exercise: Identify one thing you've been avoiding due to fear or discomfort. Gradually expose yourself to this situation, taking small steps to confront your fear. Keep a journal to track your progress and emotions.

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