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February 3 - Cultivating a Joyful and Connected Self

Writer's picture: Anna KlinmanAnna Klinman

“While there’s life, there is hope.” Stephen Hawking


gratitude

“’Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, and understanding.” Alice Walker


“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.” Maya Angelou


“Start to count your blessings. So much good happens to us but in the rush of daily life we fail even to notice or acknowledge it.” Sarah Ban Breathnach


In the tapestry of human emotions, gratitude emerges as a powerful trait and virtue that has the potential to enrich our lives and transform the way we perceive the world. As Diana Butler Bass eloquently expressed, "Gratitude empowers us. It makes joy and love possible. It rearranges the way we see and experience what is all around us."


Gratitude is a multifaceted emotion that can both surprise us and elude us when we need it most. At times, we find ourselves brimming with thankfulness, discovering that we are far more grateful than we realized. However, there are moments when gratitude fails to show up, even in situations where it seems most necessary.


Yet, amidst these fluctuations, gratitude remains a powerful remedy for negative emotions such as envy, as Douglas Carlton Abrams, Dalai Lama, Tutu, and Desmond explained in The Book of Joy.


People with a strong disposition toward gratitude possess a unique capacity for empathy and perspective-taking. They are regarded as more generous and helpful by those in their social circles, as the act of embracing gratitude opens their hearts to the needs and feelings of others. This simple yet profound trait has the power to connect us to one another, fostering compassion and kindness within our relationships.

To cultivate gratitude within ourselves, we can engage in gratitude practices that train our minds to focus on positive emotions and blessings. Keeping a daily gratitude journal, writing thank-you letters, meditating on gratitude, or establishing rituals of thanksgiving are some of the simple yet effective strategies recommended by Diana Butler Bass. Emmons even suggests that through our senses we gain an appreciation of what it means to be human, of what an incredible miracle it is to be alive.


Developing cues or prompts to initiate thankfulness and establish a routine for gratitude practice further strengthens this virtue. By tying gratitude to specific moments or activities in our daily lives, we create a habit of recognizing and acknowledging the blessings around us. As we become more attuned to gratitude cues, our brains instinctively turn their attention to positive aspects, fostering a grateful frame of mind.

In the midst of life's challenges and distractions, practicing gratitude becomes an essential tool to shift our focus. By stepping outside our immediate circumstances and acknowledging the things we appreciate, we can experience a profound change in our outlook. Gina Hamadey aptly emphasized, "Step outside whatever you are in and realize what you are appreciative for."


Gratitude also plays a pivotal role in transforming our experience of pain and hardship. By embracing the reality of pain and drawing on mindfulness and self-compassion, we create space to recognize and enjoy the positive aspects of life. Rick Hansen aptly stated, "Your attention will not be so caught up in the resistance to pain, and you will be free to recognize and enjoy everything else." Robert Emmons also wants us to look back and remember how difficult life used to be and how far we have come. When we do this, we set up an explicit contrast in our mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.


Gratitude emerges as a guiding light that illuminates our journey through life. By embracing gratitude as a personal ethic, we empower ourselves to experience joy, love, and hope. Gratitude reshapes our perception of the world, enabling us to focus on the abundance of blessings and fostering deeper connections with others. As we cultivate gratitude within ourselves, we embark on a transformative path, one that celebrates the power of thankfulness to create a more joyful and connected self.


One of the best ways to cultivate gratitude is to establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things you enjoy. One of the best ways to do this is by keeping a daily journal in which you record the blessings you are grateful for. Butler Bass suggests the following steps to help you make this a healthy habit.


1.  Close your eyes and recall three things from your day for which you are grateful. They can be anything from the kindness and generosity of a friend to the bounty of a meal, to the warmth of the sun, to the beauty of the night sky. Try to be as specific as you can be in recalling what you are grateful for.

 

2.  Write these three things down in a journal. While you can do this exercise in your head, keeping a list of what you are grateful for has been shown to have many physical and emotional benefits over time.


3.  try to write down three different things each time you journal. Variation is the key to effective gratitude journaling.


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Are you interested in learning more about human values? Join me as I explore fourteen human values and offer strategies for modeling and practicing these with children. With this link, you can get my first book for a greatly discounted price!

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