July 5 – Freedom Throughout Your Life's Journey

“Without integrity, our freedom is compromised.” Joan Halifax

Freedom is a fundamental human desire, as essential as food and water explains John O'Leary, in his book, In Awe. Yet, the experience of freedom changes dramatically throughout our lives. Today we will explore the distinct stages of freedom, from the boundless curiosity of infancy to the self-directed autonomy we strive for in our later years.

In the idyllic world of infancy and early childhood, freedom manifests in a child's natural state of being. Rick Rubin, in The Creative Act: A Way of Being, describes this as a state of “awe,” where experiences are embraced without judgment and curiosity reigns supreme. Unlike adults burdened by expectations, children readily internalize new information and live in the moment. Their freedom lies in the unfiltered exploration of their world. However, this freedom is not absolute. It exists within the boundaries set by parents, who play a crucial role in shaping a child's understanding of freedom. Through nurturing guidance and age-appropriate limitations, parents lay the foundation for responsible decision-making, a crucial skill for navigating future freedoms. Early education also shapes a child's experience of freedom. Play, a cornerstone of early education, allows children to experiment, take risks, and make choices within a safe environment.

As we transition into adolescence and young adulthood, the focus of freedom shifts towards establishing independence and identity. Becky Vollmer, in You Are Not Stuck, captures this yearning for autonomy: "It seemed everyone secretly longed for a different way of living.” Social and peer influences become more prominent, shaping our sense of belonging and self-worth. We grapple with internal conflicts – the "battle" between what we desire and what we believe we "should" do, explains Vollmer.

Educational and career choices become central to our pursuit of freedom, as we seek paths that align with our passions and aspirations. This period is often marked by trial and error, as we experiment with different identities and chart our own course. Freedom, in this stage, is about breaking free from societal pressures and internal constraints to discover who we truly are and what we want to achieve.

“There is nothing inevitable. The actions of the past operate in every instant and so, at every instant, does freedom.” Nan Shin

Adulthood presents the complex challenge of balancing responsibilities with personal freedom. John O'Leary emphasizes that true freedom "does not mean lack of responsibility." We juggle careers, families, and personal commitments, all while striving to carve out space for our own growth and fulfillment. Yet, amidst these responsibilities, O'Leary reminds us of the inherent capacity within each of us to "get back to that state" of freedom – the state of daring greatly and pursuing our passions. Continuous self-discovery and growth are hallmarks of adult freedom. We learn to navigate challenges, make difficult choices, and redefine our priorities as life unfolds. Freedom, in this stage, is about claiming ownership of our lives and shaping them with intentionality.

As we enter our elderly years, the concept of freedom takes on a new meaning. Maintaining autonomy and dignity becomes paramount. David Lieberman, in Make Peace With Anyone, highlights the importance of fostering a sense of independence in older adults. Physical limitations may necessitate some degree of dependence on others. However, supporting an elderly person's decision-making and respecting their choices is key to preserving their sense of freedom. Morrie Schwarz, in The Wisdom of Morrie, emphasizes the desire of older adults to "take as much responsibility for ourselves as we can." Freedom, in this stage, is about cherishing our independence, finding purpose in new activities, and maintaining a sense of control over our lives.

“If we stay where we are, where we’re stuck, where we’re comfortable and safe, we die there. We become like mushrooms, living in the dark, with poop up to our chins.” Anne Lamott

The journey of freedom is a lifelong process. From the wide-eyed wonder of childhood to the self-directed autonomy we strive for in our later years, each stage presents unique challenges and opportunities. By understanding the evolving nature of freedom, we can navigate these transitions with greater awareness and purpose. As O'Leary reminds us, "we are born free.” It is our responsibility to nurture and reclaim that inherent freedom throughout our lives.

Activity –

The "Childhood Playlist" Recreation: Recreate your favorite playlist from your childhood or teenage years. Listen to the music and reconnect with the emotions and aspirations you had as a child or teenager. Reflect on how those experiences shaped who you are today.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.