February 9 – Bridging Divides: Building a Just and Equitable World through Personal Connections

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining, is to let it rain.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” Barack Obama

People are more divided than ever before, and they tend to live in their own echo chambers, where they only interact with people who share their beliefs. This makes it difficult to build consensus and solve problems together. There is a lot of mistrust between people in different groups, such as political parties, racial and ethnic groups, and religious groups. This makes it hard to work together to make our communities better. Many people are disengaged from civic life. They don't vote, they don't volunteer, and they don't participate in other ways to make their voices heard. This makes it difficult to hold our leaders accountable and ensure that our government represents the interests of all people.

But there is still hope. In her book, Social Justice for the Sensitive Soul, Dorcas Cheng-Tozun writes about British NGO scientists Becca Dove and Tim Fisher. They have found that “person-to-person compassion and the desire to relate can create movement and change where before there was none.” We can make change happen by creating personal and informal relationships with those in our community when we reach outside of typical demographics, characteristics, or social groups. Cheng-Tozun suggests these relationships can be personal or professional but warns that they usually take more effort to build and maintain. But by bridging this gap, it also expands our knowledge, understanding, opens our networks, and increases our own tolerance and acceptance of people who are different from us.

When there are people who are different than us, it is easier to make snap judgments, without knowing anything about their situation. We need to go beyond merely being polite or nice to others. We need to find out more about them and what has led them to this point. Everyone around us is just trying to do the best they can to live a full, happy life. Some people have developed unhealthy coping strategies because of what they have been through. Instead of judging these people, we need to accept them. We need to “recognize the difficulties that we all face and understand the complexity of what it means to be human,” explains Cheng-Tozun.

Cyndie Spiegel explains in Microjoys, that we all want to live good lives, but there is no one right way to do it. Trying to find one ultimate truth in every situation is a waste of time, because most of life is full of gray areas. We need to be able to hold multiple, sometimes conflicting truths at the same time. Life is rarely black and white, and we need to accept the nuance in every situation. The sooner we can do this, the easier it will be to live our lives to the fullest.

We are all born with the capacity to connect with others. We can use this capacity to build bridges between people, even those who are different from us. We can create spaces where people feel safe to share their stories and perspectives. We can listen to each other with an open heart and mind. We can build trust and goodwill, one conversation at a time. Together, we can create a more just and equitable world.

Cheng-Tozun states that according to organizational psychologist Adam Grant, “In over 500 studies, interacting face to face with an outgroup reduced prejudice 94 percent of the time.” Grant is not talking about the traditional ways of reducing prejudice, such as diversity and inclusion training, debates, or sharing articles on social media. He is talking about something much simpler: having a civil, respectful conversation with someone who is different from you. This simple act can be surprisingly effective at reducing prejudice. In fact, it is one of the most effective ways to instigate change.

We all have something to learn from each other, even those who are different from us. By reaching out to people from different backgrounds, we can expand our understanding of the world and ourselves. It takes courage to have a dialogue with someone we disagree with, but it is worth it. When we listen to each other with an open mind, we can build bridges and create a more just and equitable world.

Activity - Cross-Cultural Potluck Dinner: Organize a potluck where participants bring dishes from different cultural backgrounds. Encourage conversations about the origins of the dishes and the stories behind them. This reminds me of when I taught at the International School of Hamburg. We used to celebrate United Nations Week in October every year. I would ask each family in my class to bring in a traditional food from their cultural background. We really learned a lot about each other at those lunches, and we all felt accepted in a truly unique way.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience, guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.