February 20 – The Science of Compassion: Why It's Good for Your Health and Relationships

“It’s not always easy to be human. That in itself calls for some compassion.” Frits Koster

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Tenzin Gyatso, Fourteenth Dalai Lama

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” Plato

Compassion is a feeling of empathy and concern for the suffering of others, accompanied by a desire to help. It is a fundamental human emotion that is essential for building and maintaining relationships and for creating a more just and caring world. The word compassion literally means “to suffer together”. Sjoukje van de Kolk believes that “having empathy for others, recognizing what someone else needs, and helping instead of judging and criticizing: that’s what compassion is.”

Compassion is often confused with empathy, but there is a subtle difference between the two. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Compassion goes a step further by motivating us to take action to relieve the suffering of others.

In her book, Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown writes, “Compassion is the daily practice of recognizing and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving-kindness, and we take action in the face of suffering.” As with the other human values we have seen, we must not only practice it with other people, but toward ourselves, as well.

In his book, Resilient, Rick Hanson explains, “Compassion is a warmhearted sensitivity to suffering along with the desire to help if you can. Giving compassion lowers stress and calms your body. Receiving compassion makes you stronger: more able to take a breath, find your footing, and keep on going.” Compassion is a win-win for those giving and getting it!

In The Big Book of Less, Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst state, “Compassion stands for kindness (a simple thing you can do every day, and which can make you feel good immediately) and curiosity without prejudice. Compassion can stand for empathy and the harder work of forgiveness and reconciliation. But it can also mean being there for someone and being hospitable and generous.”

Even the Dalai Lama includes compassion in the list of “Four Immeasurable qualities that we can cultivate infinitely” along with sympathetic joy (the opposite of schadenfreude), loving-kindness, and equanimity.

Compassion has many benefits for both the individual and society as a whole. It can improve our mental and physical health, strengthen our relationships, and make the world a better place.

Here are some of the benefits of compassion:

Studies have shown that compassion can lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone. It can also help to improve sleep quality and reduce anxiety.

Compassion releases oxytocin, a hormone that is associated with feelings of love, trust, and bonding. It can also help to increase our sense of purpose and meaning in life.

Compassion is essential for building and maintaining strong relationships. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and to show them that we care about them.

When we act with compassion, we are helping to create a world where everyone is treated with dignity and respect. We are also building a community where people are more likely to help each other in times of need.

Compassion is a powerful emotion that can make a real difference in the world. It is something that we can all cultivate, even in small ways. By practicing compassion, we can make our own lives and the lives of others better.

Now that we know exactly what compassion is, tomorrow we will learn how we can cultivate more compassion in our lives.

Journal Prompts:

What is one act of compassion that you showed someone this week?

What is one act of compassion that someone showed you this week?

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