February 25 – How Compassion Can Help Us Heal Our World

“We’ve got a budget deficit that’s important, we’ve got a trade deficit that’s critical, but what I worry most about is our empathy deficit. When I speak to students, I tell them that one of the most important things we can do is to look through somebody else’s eyes.” Barack Obama

“Humanity needs our conscientious, intuitive, creative, compassionate souls at the forefront of addressing our most painful and pressing challenges.” Dorcas Cheng-Tozun

“All those big problems, the crises we are dealing with, can only be solved from compassion and with compassion.” Herman van der Braak

In her book, Social Justice for the Sensitive Soul, Dorcas Cheng-Tozun outlines that the level of empathy in our societies has declined by 48% since 1979, with the sharpest rate of decline coming after 2000. Researchers are still trying to figure out why this is happening, but some possible reasons include the rise of digital relationships and interactions, increased social isolation, and greater pressure on young people to achieve. Neuroscientist Jamil Zaki of Stanford University says that "empathy seems to be endangered." This digital distance makes it harder to know each other as people and even to know ourselves.

Your personal commitment to being compassionate and open-hearted is essential to the healing of our world. The suffering that we see everywhere is rooted in fear and the belief that we are separate from each other. Compassion, on the other hand, teaches us that we are all interconnected and belong together. When we live true to ourselves and our values, we are also contributing to the healing of our world and the creation of a more peaceful and loving world.

To cultivate compassion, we must draw from all of our experiences, both good and bad. This includes our suffering, our empathy, our cruelty, and our terror. This is because compassion is not about being a perfect healer who is separate from the wounded. It is about being a fellow human being who understands the darkness and the light within all of us. Only when we have faced our own darkness can we truly be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize that we are all human beings, capable of both great love and great suffering.

In her book, Toxic Positivity, Whitney Goodman expresses, “When we say things like ‘can't we just all love each other?’ in response to discrimination, we are invalidating the real experiences of marginalized people.” This is because discrimination is not a matter of individual attitudes or beliefs. It is a systemic problem that is embedded in our society. Toxic positivity is the belief that we should always be positive and that negative emotions are bad. This can be a harmful mindset, especially when it is used to silence or dismiss the voices of people who are experiencing discrimination.

When we minimize the experiences of marginalized people, we are essentially telling them to ignore the systemic problems that they face. We are also telling them that their negative emotions are not valid. This can be very hurtful and isolating. Instead of saying "can't we just all love each other?", we should be listening to the experiences of marginalized people and working to dismantle the systems and institutions that perpetuate discrimination. We should also be validating their emotions and supporting them in their fight for justice.

The health of the individual is connected to the health of the community, the environment, and the world as a whole. Every individual relationship and interaction matters. This is because every interaction has the potential to create ripple effects that spread throughout the system. Even in those who hate us, we can see the miraculous. They have heartbeats, and they likely have people they love and who love them. This means that they are capable of love, even if they are not expressing it in a healthy way.

We are all part of something larger than ourselves, and we have a responsibility to care for each other and for the world around us. Cheng-Tozun tells us that compassion “is at the very heart of creating products and technologies that address major social inequities. It is about meeting people where they are, observing, asking questions, listening, understanding, and collaborating.” Even in our digital world, there are positive, compassionate outcomes. In The Light We Carry, Michelle Obama says about the online world, “It’s given us more opportunity to hold powerful entities accountable and to feel empathy and connection across borders and cultures. I’ve talked to many people who’ve found online communities that have become vital lifelines to information, comfort, and kinship, helping them to feel less alone.”

Cheng-Tozun explains the way forward perfectly. “In big and small ways, the shortest path toward social progress is built on nonviolence, empathy, and inclusion. It is wide and welcoming, peaceful and loving. It seeks to see others no matter where they started on an issue, as human beings first.”

Activities:

Volunteer your time to a cause you care about: Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community and make a difference in the lives of others. It can also help you to connect with people from different backgrounds and learn about their experiences.

Start a conversation with someone you don't know: One of the best ways to build empathy is to get to know people who are different from you. Try starting a conversation with someone you don't know very well, and ask them questions about their life.

Read a book or watch a movie about a different culture: Reading or watching a story about a different culture can help you to understand the experiences of people from that culture. It can also help you to see the world from a different perspective.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience, guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.