February 26 – "Nurturing Compassion: Clearing a Path to a More Compassionate Life"

“Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Nothing. Not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we’re going to survive with dignity.” Audrey Hepburn

“Our task must be to free ourselves... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.” Albert Einstein

In her book, Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown proclaims, “Compassion is fueled by understanding and accepting that we’re all made of strength and struggle, no one is immune to pain or suffering. Compassion is not a practice of ‘better than’ or ‘I can fix you’, it’s a practice based in the beauty and pain of shared humanity.” When we accept this universal truth, we can be more compassionate towards ourselves and others. We are all imperfect, and that's okay. When we accept ourselves for who we are, including our flaws, we are more likely to recover from hardships quickly.

In his book, The New Man: A Discourse on the Future of Culture, Van der Braak argues that compassion is essential for solving the major problems facing the world. He believes that compassion is the only way to overcome the divisions and conflicts that are tearing our world apart. Van der Braak thinks that self-compassion is a precondition to compassion for others. In Buddhism it is said, “You must have compassion for all living creatures.” You are one of them. If you can’t feel warmth and empathy for yourself, it’s going to be very difficult to feel it for others. If you do have real compassion for yourself, you will have less of a need to get recognition and confirmation from others, because those are compensation mechanisms for when you feel that something is missing.

Rick Hansen agrees with this idea. He states, “Empathy is tuning into and understanding other people. When you feel grounded as “me”, you’re able to be empathetic without getting flooded or overwhelmed.” As our brains have evolved, we have developed a greater capacity for self-awareness, rational thinking, empathy, compassion, and mindfulness. These tools allow us to awaken our mindfulness and compassion, and to relate to others in a wise and loving way.

In compassion for your own pain is a sense of common humanity: we all suffer, face disease or death, and lose others we love. Self-compassion makes a person more resilient, lowers self-criticism, and builds self-worth. After a failure, treating yourself with kindness, respect, honesty, and encouragement is associated with increased motivation and better outcomes. Having compassion for yourself is correlated with greater happiness and satisfaction, fewer emotional difficulties, and less anxiety.

Tara Brach, in her book Radical Compassion, shares, “Compassion means including the vulnerability of this life, all life, in our heart. It means having the courage to love ourselves, each other, and our world. Compassion is rooted in mindful, embodied presence and it is expressed actively through caring that includes all beings.” When you are compassionate to yourself, that compassion can grow and spread. As Cal Newport expresses in Deep Work, “Your compassion and empathy are healing salves for the people around you and the planet itself. You are here to bring your light to the world.”

Activity:

As you exercise your compassion muscle, you are able to be there for yourself and others in troubling times. In their book, There Is No Good Card for This, Dr. Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell explain, “When it comes to supporting the people you care about, trusting yourself, your ability to be kind and care, your values, and what you can authentically do, is the key to navigating life’s worst.” They share the three components of showing up compassionately for others: your kindness is your credential, listening speaks volumes, and small gestures make a big difference. Finally, they share that, “If you’re choosing between saying something and saying nothing, you’re almost always better off saying something.”

Compassion Circle: Gather a group of friends or family for a "Compassion Circle." Share your experiences and challenges in practicing compassion and offer each other support and encouragement.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience, guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.